What drives a seemingly normal mother to allegedly murder her own children? That’s the question that’s kept me up for countless nights since first diving into Lori Vallow’s case.
I’ve spent more hours than I care to admit (or that my husband Ryan would consider healthy) poring over court documents, interview transcripts, and psychological analyses. And let me tell you — this rabbit hole goes deeper than most.
The Perfect Mom Mask Slips
Lori Vallow wasn’t always the woman we now know from mugshots and courtroom sketches. She was once considered a devoted mother — as subtle as a bloodstain on white carpet, her transformation shocked everyone who knew her.
Before her descent into apocalyptic beliefs, Lori was a pageant contestant, a seemingly doting mother, and by most accounts, utterly unremarkable in the “might murder her children” department. (Isn’t it always the ones you least suspect?)
Her path from beauty queen to defendant in a high-profile murder case involved multiple marriages, increasingly bizarre religious beliefs, and a body count that would make even the most hardened true crime junkie’s skin crawl.
When Delusion Meets Deadly Intent
Here’s where things get fascinating (in that horrifying way that makes you check your locks twice): Lori didn’t just wake up one day and decide to harm her children. Her descent followed a pattern that psychologists find disturbingly familiar.
Her apocalyptic beliefs — that her children had become “zombies” possessed by dark spirits — didn’t develop overnight. They evolved through her relationship with Chad Daybell, a doomsday author and her future fifth husband. Together, they created an echo chamber of end-times prophecies and spiritual “ratings” of people as light or dark.
I’ve studied enough cases to know that shared delusions (folie à deux, if you want to sound fancy at your next true crime book club) can be incredibly powerful. When two people validate each other’s most extreme thoughts, reality becomes whatever they decide it is.
Psychopathy or Psychosis? The Million-Dollar Question
The armchair diagnosis temptation is strong with this one. Was Lori a psychopath who used religious beliefs as a convenient cover? Or was she genuinely experiencing psychosis that led her to commit unthinkable acts?
The distinction matters beyond mere curiosity. Psychopathy and legal competency intersect in complicated ways that determine everything from trial proceedings to sentencing.
Lori was initially found incompetent to stand trial — a fact that had me throwing popcorn at my laptop screen when I first read it. But competency isn’t about whether someone knew right from wrong when committing a crime; it’s about whether they can understand court proceedings and assist in their own defense.
The “Evil or Insane” False Dichotomy
Here’s the thing about human psychology that fascinates me (and keeps me mainlining true crime documentaries until 3 AM): it’s rarely as simple as “evil or insane.”
People can hold genuine delusions AND make calculated decisions. They can experience psychosis AND exhibit manipulative behavior. The human mind isn’t a Golden Girls episode with clear-cut characters and tidy resolutions. (Though I’d watch the hell out of that crossover.)
What makes Lori’s case particularly chilling is how she maintained enough composure to flee to Hawaii with Chad while police investigated her children’s disappearance. She was together enough to cash her missing son’s Social Security checks and tell people he was staying with relatives.
Those aren’t typically the actions of someone completely detached from reality. They suggest planning, awareness of consequences, and attempts to avoid them — hallmarks of someone who, on some level, knew what they were doing was wrong.
The Uncomfortable Truth About “Normal” People
The most disturbing aspect of studying criminal psychology isn’t learning about rare, dramatic disorders. It’s recognizing how ordinary people can commit extraordinary atrocities when the right (or wrong) factors align.
Lori Vallow wasn’t born a “monster” (ugh, I hate that term — it lets us pretend these people aren’t human like us). She became dangerous through a perfect storm of personality traits, relationship dynamics, religious extremism, and possibly untreated mental health issues.
Would I have seen the warning signs if Lori had been my neighbor? I’d like to think so. (I definitely would have survived this crime — I’m suspicious of anyone who suddenly starts talking about zombies and the apocalypse.)
But the uncomfortable truth is that the line between “normal” and “capable of terrible things” is thinner than we want to believe. And that, my fellow crime obsessives, is why we can’t look away from cases like Lori Vallow’s — because understanding the darkness in others helps us recognize it when it creeps too close to home.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go triple-check my doors are locked. Just in case.